Addled

Tangents

2010-08-02T09:16:00.000+01:00

So, after bloggywogging my way through 3rd year of Creative Advertising at Lincoln, I have now been back home in Scotland for a whole month! Hope you're not feeling too neglected, and actually quite a lot has happened!

Firstly, I got a 2:1 as my final grade which I was very happy with! I think a little bit of extra grind at the end bumped me up as I'd been climbing the 2:2 ranks throughout the year, also helped by my dissertation.

And then, well, it all changed! I was offered a job working for my dad in his PR business, which for now is just great. It's also useful to feel stable, as I have the life-changing experience of giving birth to my first child to look forward to in the new year!

While I have been less concerned with my Advertising work in the last month, I do intend to continue updating my book (before I forget all the wonderful lessons Lincoln taught me!) and when finances, life, and everything are a bit more stable I will still get out there and try for a few placements!

Till then, it's learning how to be a good mummy!

Ruby

Ad Life Lesson No.1 - The importance of context.

2010-06-23T10:25:00.001+01:00

The End

2010-06-22T20:58:00.000+01:00

Uni's done!

Wow. Well. It's all been a bit hectic really, so sorry for my lack of posting.

You can get a quick tour of the last few months here and I will catch you all up in not-too-long (say, after D&AD New Blood).

Oh yes, come see myself and many fellow lincoln 2010 graduates at New Blood, Truman Brewery, Brick Lane LDN from Thursday 24th- Mon 28th!

Rubes x

Scandals of the Near Future.

2010-05-08T08:03:00.001+01:00

1. Goldengate. The price of gold will drop after it is revealed that a sensible MP is rarer and therefore more valuable. MPs will start to vanish from the streets and reappear in ransom videos by Somalian drug lords. No-one will pay the ransom.

2. Kissinggate. A top BNP consultant will get caught kissing a picture of Hitler. They will say they dropped grilled cheese and were trying to eat it off. No-one will believe them.

3. Garethgate. Gareth will say something stupid and everyone will be outraged, for at least 5 minutes.

4. Margate. Someone will notice that Mars Bars have been slowly shrinking over the last 10 years, even as their price increases. A riot will be held in front of Mars HQ and the CEO will throw himself from a window.

5. Colgate. A Spanish man will arrive outside an international airport. He will find that in his luggage is a cabbage he didn't know he had. The police will discover a bomb inside the cabbage and will order the entire crop of Spanish cols be culled.

6. Agrigate. Farmers will riot after they are told they must provide beehives on their farm. The mess will be solved by a small girl who teaches the farmers how 'bees are people too' and they should care for them, otherwise they're fucked out of a job because nothing will grow.

7. Gategate. Some prick in the government will decide it's time the Scottish right-of-way laws are revoked. All gates will be forced to wear a yellow star to depict that they are no longer open to the public. In protest, rather than remove the stars, people will steal the gates and burn them in the dead of night.

Rubes x

heart

2010-04-22T22:44:00.000+01:00

Noel is like a puppy. Phil is like Santa. Both infinitely loveable! *hearts*

Rubes x

Leonard doesn't do Advertising...

2010-04-14T11:13:00.001+01:00

Many people have told me recently, and in the past, that Leonard Cohen is a God amongst writers. Maybe it's a student thing, or you know, parents passing on their student wisdom of the ages...

So off I went and picked up a book, Beautiful Losers, "...A religio-sexual epic of incomparable beauty," according to the back cover. Actually, it was on my bookcase with a marker in it. And since the marker was a bank statement of mine from 2005, I guess I already tried to read it, forgot, and now must begin again.

Not sure I understand much more of it than I did at 17... in fact I'm probably slightly more offended by it. Drug-addled ravings of someone clearly so in love with hating himself that he got famous from it. There's barely a plot. It seems like three books, which accidentally got shuffled together with a few odd diary pages and ramblings. It's not a real story! Ok, I'm sure it was 'groundbreaking' style back in the 60s. It should have stayed there.

Sorry Cohen fans... perhaps that's a bit harsh. I mean, how many books have I written? Yeah, none. So I can't talk really! And perhaps it's just this one book. Or even just the first half of it. I did feel like throwing it from a car window. But he does have a way with words, and so I persevere. After all, I read The Silmarillion. No way is a mere 239 pages of self-appreciating emo wank going to stop me.

And this passage in particular caught my eye. Because in reading it, just about every emotion I've ever had reading a book, came out. I hated the metaphors used in it. But I loved the idea that is expressed by them. I thought it was both true and false. It repulsed me. It made me laugh. It repulsed me that it made me laugh. It made me roll my eyes - Oh come on! It made me hate something that I normally love. It made me think he was even more in love with his own cleverness, but equally, maybe he deserved to be. And now, I'm not really sure what to think. About anything. But I do quite like his flair for making the ordinary sound so dramatic. How many people have said advertising is a bad influence on children? How many have said it like this?

From Beautiful Losers (1966) by Leonard Cohen.

Help!

Four men followed Edith. Damn every one of them. I can't blame them. The village was behind them, filled with families and business. These men had watched her for years. French Canadian schoolbooks do not encourage respect for the Indians. Some part of the Canadian Catholic mind is not certain of the Church's victory over the Medicine Man. No wonder the forests of Quebec are mutilated and sold to America. Magic trees sawed with a crucifix. Murder the saplings. Bittersweet is the cunt of a thirteen-year-old. O Tongue of the Nation! Why don't you speak for yourself. Can't you see what is behind all this teen-age advertising? Is it only money? What does 'wooing the teen-age market' really mean? Eh? Look at all the thirteen-year-old legs on the floor spread in front of the tv screen. Its it only to sell them cereals and cosmetics? Madison Avenue is thronged with hummingbirds who want to drink from those barely haired crevices. Woo them, woo them, suited writers of commercial poems. Dying America wants a thirteen-year-old Absihag to warm its bed. Men who shave want little girls to ravish but sell them high heels instead. The sexual Hit Parade is written by fathers who shave. O suffering child-lust offices of the business world, I feel your blue-balled pain everywhere! There is a thirteen-year-old blonde lying on the back seat of a parked car, one nyloned toe playing with the armrest ashtray, the other foot on the rich interior carpet, dimples on her cheeks and only a hint of innocent acne, and her garter belt is correctly uncomfortable: far away roam the moon and a few police flashlights: her Beethoven panties are damp from the Prom. She alone of all the world believes that fucking is holy, dirty, and beautiful. And who is this making his way through the bushes? It is her Chemistry Teacher, who smiled all night as she danced with the football star because it is the foam rubber of his car that she lies dreaming upon. Charity begins alone, F. used to say. Many long nights have taught me that the Chemistry Teacher is not merely a sneak. He loves youth truly. Advertising courts lovely things. Nobody wants to make life hell. In the hardest hard sell exists a thirsty love-torn hummingbird.

Noooo not the Butterflies!!

2010-04-02T10:33:00.003+01:00

Quite a fun wee stunt for Qualcomm.

Only trouble is, you have to have a brain cell or two to get that they're
advertising some snazzy new kind of screen. I'm not sure how many of
the people who watch it will have those brain cells. It could turn out to
be another thing that advertising folks love and no-one else gets.

But still it's quite funny!

8 weeks to go!

2010-03-28T09:47:00.003+01:00

As a single (loner, loser, hermit, whatever) on our course I get to choose 7 out of 11 of our briefs to have in my final show book. (Haha, the teams have to supply everything!) Add some bits from competitions and it comes to a total 13. This is supposedly to help me keep up to date with how I'm progressing... And you guys too of course. Will tick them off as I go along.

Also, as I finish them, I will add them to my online portfolio for your delectation. (Apart from competition work, the rules won't let me. At least not until the judging process is over.)

1.Cow & Gate - redo entirely. Done.****

2. Heinz Twisted Fiery Chilli Ketchup - done.****

3. Non-word Lager - done done done already. (Well, as much as it ever will be.)****

4. Mr. Sheen - done. ****

5. Pantene - done. **** maybe TV ads to go with... let's see how much time I have! Done. ****

6. GOLD - ditched.

7. St. Marks - ditched.

8. Play.com - Hmm. Possibly redo. Computerise. REDO. Done.****

9. Harry Ramsden's - done. ****

10. Get kids to eat their 5 Fruit and Veg a day - ditched.

11. Heinz Beanz and pork sausages - ditched.

12. D&AD - done.****

13. YCN Feel Good Drinks - done.****

14. YCN Why Let Drink Decide - done. possibly expand media.

15. Superbrief Thursday 1 of 4 briefs - Betfred is... Ok i suppose :/

16. 2000 word essay on engaging with the industry - nearly done. Done.****

17. Self-Promo video - (OH FUCK. Just ignore it till it goes away. Ok, not really, I'll get on with that too.) refine concept, storyboard, shoot and edit. Nearly Done.

I really have quite a lot to do. See you on the other side...
As a graduate! Woopa!

Rubes x

Passive Aggressive

2010-03-23T23:02:00.001Z

Maybe I'm a little late catching on to things. I've heard of the book, but had no idea there was also a blog for Passive Aggressive Notes!

I (heart) This site. Possibly because I too am a touch PA. Possibly just cos its frick'en hilarious!

Ok, the last one I actually stole from someone's Twitter feed (it was around SXSW, whatever that is...)

But I think it fits pretty well into passive-aggressiveness.

Enjoy :)
Rubes x

Well Red Bull definitely know their audience...

2010-03-23T16:08:00.000Z

Awesome. The Bull man is going to deliver me (and my neighbours, unless I get there first mwahaha) Red Bull! Like a Milkman! But with Caffieeeeeeene!

I LOVE original DM solutions. I LOVE the timing on this. I am so in need of Red Bull right now. They totally knew that. Red Bull loves me back! And so I love it even more. Great technique from the kings who give you wings.

Envelope front cover: Intriguing and yet clearly Red Bull (Oops. Photo cut off the can shot and 'Red Bull Gives You Wiiings' line in bottom right corner). Good enough reason to open it, without the inviting heavy/off-centre weight of whatever's inside.

Retrieved from inside and built in 2 seconds, ready to return to the doorstep: A little milk-bottle-holder. But for Red Bull. Shweeeeeet.

And Step 3: some instructions on how to (I assume) get some free Red Bull goodies!

My only slight upset is that they seem to think they can replace tea. Well, sorry Red Bull, that just ain't gonna happen!

Will update you all tomorrow on what my goodies are!

Rubes x

Dougie Mclean - Garden Valley

2010-03-18T21:44:00.001Z

This is really not my home,
Where are you, my lovely Jenny?
I'm afraid and all alone,
There's no peace for me.
I'm sitting in the stranger's room,
Playing at the stranger's table;
Shining empty like the moon,
There's no peace for me.

Chorus (after each verse):
But in the darkness struggle cold,
I think about a garden valley;
Gentle as the leaves unfold,
Singing out along the Tay,
Distant and so far away,
There's no peace for me.

I'm blinded by your city lights,
I wander through these fearful places,
The colors fade to black and white,
There's no peace for me.
These are not the friends I know,
These are not their smiling faces,
A desert that no one should know,
There's no peace for me.

Now I know and feel it well,
The immigrant's deep sunken feeling,
Standing at the gates of hell,
There's no peace for me.
Burned out by their master's greed,
Cruel exile, transportation,
Robbed of every love and need,
There's no peace for me.

Drink Coke.

2010-03-17T11:29:00.002Z

Bill Hicks, the legend. I want to be the one who finally
makes the ad. For Bill, because he is just so right.
Always.

Plus it will be epic, and will make coke millions and
squillions of pounds. Yes it will.

Rubes x

I'm not like those other girls...

2010-03-16T23:33:00.001Z

No, really, I'm not.

Girls are silly. They worry about stuff. They care too much about stuff that doesn't matter. It DOESN'T MATTER. Give it a rest! They deem men unsuitable for ridiculous reasons. They think they are Gods gift to this earth.

I just read this and thought WHAT? but unfortunately for my half of the species I am outnumbered 1000 to one.

Apparently, I should, as a woman, expect men to do everything for me, but also expect equal rights. How exactly does that work? It's nonsense.

Personally, I don't think dating is worth it. Everyone I've been in a relationship with, I've wanted to spend time with. Dating is not spending time. It is, as the 'this' link (above) says, an excuse for women to pry money out of men for no other reason than to feel good about themselves. Only she seems to think that is a good thing... and she quotes from someone, a porn star no less, who can't enjoy vegging out on the sofa. All I currently do with my boyfriend (when we have the chance to be together) is veg out on the sofa. We are interesting enough, thank God, that we can entertain each other indefinitely with no monetary cost. Apparently, we're doing it all wrong.

Expecting a man to pay for everything is just as absurd as a man being paid more to do the same job as a woman.

This still being one of life's many issues, I feel obliged to state:

I never expect anything more from a man than what I would give to him.

Paying for a meal is by no means a man's responsibility. Paying half is what we call "fair". Women still seem to think that they are paid unfairly, and yet are, in other aspects of life, unwilling to pay fairly. She moans in the above blog that some guy wasn't willing to pick her up for a date, instead asking her to meet him at the restaurant. She refused, and the dude folded and came to get her. Who the fuck do you think you are, lady?

You only get what you give, in the words of the New Radicals. Now isn't that some radical thinking?

On other common womanly issues:

I don't wear makeup. Because it's too much of a pain. Perhaps twice or three times a year at most. If I feel like painting my toenails, I do. Occasionally on a night out I will add to an outfit by putting on some eye makeup. But I don't feel obliged to do it every day, or every night out. Women who do are (in my opinion) undermining their right to be treated as equals. Men don't fanny around for 3 hours making sure they look as hot as their mates/ good enough to go home with, do they? And I do know girls who will literally not leave the house without their face on. Get a LIFE! You're going to buy milk, not to collect a fucking Oscar!

I don't believe in Valentine's Day. It's just another excuse for women to act like men don't pay them enough attention. I expect the same treatment on Valentine's as I would on any other night of the year. Complements and thoughtful gifts are always appreciated, cheap-ass stuffed toys that say "I wuv u" are not (and that's not because they're cheap, it's because they have no real emotion behind them, they are bought 'because they should be'. I'd rather get a bogey, flicked with love, than a stuffed toy, sent out of obligation). And again, the day is totally centred around the female. What about what men would like? There's no multi-million pound gift industry based around a man's relationship needs, is there?

I am apathetic towards the issue of cheating. Most women see it as some ultimate insult, like, if you cared about them at all how could you even look at another woman?! And yet those same women will sit in a bar and give every man in the place marks out of 10. Double standards abound in the land of the Woman. I believe that, as an equal partner in a relationship, it is my job to keep the other party interested enough that they need never stray. Women have this thing, for instance, about using sex as a punishment. You didn't clean the bathroom/ get that promotion/ tell me I looked nice, so you get no sex. And then they wonder why their boyfriend runs off to sleep with someone else. Maybe it's because your a fucking bitch, bitch. Treat your man with the same respect you expect, and THEN expect him not to cheat on you.

Also, sometimes, people make mistakes. Sometimes you really are too drunk to say no to that girl in a bikini who's writhing all over you. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just that he has a healthy libido. LET IT GO. Forgiveness is a treasure that grows when it is shared.

I could go on with this forever, but let's just round up by saying...
Sometimes I am ashamed to be a woman. I was when I read the above mentioned blog. Women are twats, they really are. I am not one of them, I swear. I will call myself a Willman, since all the others seem to be Wontmen. Screw Them.

Rubes x

The moral of the story...

2010-03-14T23:51:00.000Z

I've realised something. About stories. Stories always seem to have a point. Something to tell us, a moral to learn, a comment on the real world, an analogy.

Right from The Very Hungry Caterpillar, through Bridget Jones' Diary, to War and Peace. But when I was little I never worried about what the stories meant. I read about Anansi and the Spider, the Tortoise and the Hare. I read the Just So stories, and loved every minute. But only because I liked the stories. The morals sunk in by themselves, no-one forced them on me. No-one said, "This story will tell you how to live your life".

Then I got to high school and suddenly everything you read has a message, a symbol, a point. Like Of Mice and Men isn't just a really great read. Did Steinbeck sit down and think 'I must write this scene by the river ever so descriptively, so that it contrasts with George's inability to describe or understand Lenny's disability to the utmost'? No, he didn't; he just wrote the damn book. Because he was a good writer, all the words fell into place, and others have found meaning to attach to it. And then teachers came along and ruined everything by trying to force those messages down our throats, unimaginatively and monotonously. Like we couldn't have just read and enjoyed the story.

Learning makes things complicated. It strips beautiful things of their beauty by making us understand them. The very worst of these, for me, was photosynthesis. I like trees, I love seasons, and watching buds sprout and blossom fall and leaves turn golden. And conkers and nuts and fruit coming and going. I never needed to know why or how these happened. And then school taught me and the magic was gone. The leaves weren't just changing to gold, they were shutting down for the winter to preserve energy in the shorter, darker days of the year. That wasn't a pretty blossom, it was a sex organ designed to attract insects which then whore the trees pollen out to all it's neighbours. Why did I need to know that? Wasn't it enough just to enjoy them being beautiful?

Isn't it enough, when you're an adult, to just enjoy a book, a film, a song, without it having some deep political significance or prophecy or agenda? I miss that time when I was young enough that adults didn't think I needed to know.

I could have watched District 9 and seen for myself the connotations to real life, without a million and one news outlets and online sources gabbling on about it. Without having to THINK about it. Right now I'm re-reading The Book of Lost Things and enjoying the deep and complex parallels it draws to real life. Completely without worrying about how a metaphor here and there creates deeper understanding than a straight description, or where and how syntax and semantics play their role. The subconscious deals with those things. I don't feel like I should inflict it upon my conscious mind too.

So I'm trying to forget the moral. Instead, I want to love the story. To try and return to a time when the story was enough. And all that extra gumph we learn in school was irrelevant. Because really, it still is.

Rubes x

Sign Language

2010-03-11T19:31:00.000Z

I have discovered, and it was quite a discovery, the Telegraph Sign Language photo feed.

I am enthralled. I love this stuff. Ok, some of it is the same old Chinglish and Spanglish that you see on so many blogs and sites.

Personally I think it's offensive to blame these people after they at least attempt to transmit a message in your language, albeit unsuccessfully. But they only have do that because 99.9% of tourists can't read Chinese. So it's a bit rich to say 'but you spelt it wrong you wanker' when you can't even read their language.

Some of the stuff in the Telegraph feed, however, is just great. They have no boundaries, we get silly signs from all over the world, including English speaking countries, with no discrimination and no racist commentary. I have screen-shotted some of my favourites for you. Full credit to whoever gets credit for them over on the Telegraph site.

Give incentives that people really (don't) want:

Say things differently:

Be forceful in your message:

Write as you speak:

And lastly, where I will retire to when I am old and grey:

Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Rubes x
(Still on a Hiatus of Miserability)

Good things come to those who Comment.

2010-03-10T17:15:00.003Z

So, after one comment on ITIABTWC went wildly astray, and got bitched at by some anonymous person (see previous post), the one I made today has attracted attention from the advertising elite!

This is the comment I made:

Comedy doesn't make it through the focus groups -

Americans are much more open to advertising in the sense that they know it's there, they know why, and they don't take as much affront to is as us Brits do. They see it as a service. How else would that Superbowl slot get so expensive? People want to see the new ads as much as agencies want them to. They also do take time to watch ads if they like them/ the featured product. Which is one reason why stuff like QVC is so popular over there.

Brits have this weird idea that liking adverts means you're falling for their evil, evil lies - and that stigmatism means the people in focus groups want adverts to be as bland and obvious as possible, in case someone gets 'tricked' into buying something. And therefore funny ads get ditched, and we are left with Direct Line-esque humour that no-one actually thinks is funny.

Basically Americans can take their advertising with a pinch of salt, and we can't.

And this is the comment I got back:

How ace is that? I am totally proud of myself. Like when I got in the Guardian. Sell Sell and john w. liked it too. Chuffing brilliant.

My Hiatus continues however, as I veto miserable posts. This one is happy so it doesn't count.

Rubes x

Hiatus

2010-03-10T09:56:00.000Z

This blog is on Hiatus until I have something good to say.

Everything is just a bit shit right now, so I'll check back when I have a life or something to talk about.

I am coming across like a miserable cow and actually I'm just knackered, poor and working a lot.

Same thing? Maybe. But send me your positive vibes.

Rubes x

How to lose fans and disappoint people...

2010-03-09T18:05:00.001Z

Edited from a first, rather more moany, posting.

Step 1: Invite a bunch of students to come and have a crit at your swanky London offices. Get them all excited with a really interesting brief, stories from past students about how awesome their trip was last year, etc.

Step 2: Cancel the meeting at 2 days notice, offering an off-the-cuff "Come next week instead if you like".

No, not really, I wouldn't like. You see I'm afraid that's not in the budget. Nor was the first trip as it happens, but I was so excited to go that I made a proper effort to raise train/hotel money. If we had had a bit more notice of cancellation perhaps I might have been able to negotiate a refund of that hard-found spare change and therefore pay for a second one.

But then why would I run the risk of being cancelled on twice? If I had asked for a book crit and then not turned up, what would be my chances of getting another one? Nil, I assume, unless I could prove I had had to get a leg amputated or my house had caught fire! And even if I did get another one, you'd have prejudices installed that I was unreliable and poor at keeping time, or promises, or both.

(I can appreciate the reasons for the cancellation, and that student crits (being non-profit) aren't really top of an agencies priorities. I would never expect to be thought important enough to overstep a client! But if I had visitors planned for 6 weeks; and then someone else phoned 2 days before it and said 'can we meet in 2 days?' I'd say 'Sorry, I have visitors coming, that's kind of short notice!' In short... We were there first! Doesn't that count for anything?)

Step 3: Inform the students - weeks after sending them the brief - that it was supposed to be a secret. Request that they remove any mention of it from their blogs. Nothing that gets handed out to 60 people is a secret. But yeah, I have -censored- my blog for you.

Not something I am happy, at all, about doing. The internet is supposed to be a platform for free speech, and if the brief was such a big secret, why did you give it to us? I just wanted to shout from the rooftops about how cool it was and how lucky we were to go to such a good agency. Denied! I think; in my (as Dean's comment says) pre-job naivety; that I should be able to say what the hell I like on my own personal blog. And perhaps, if it were a secret, prior notice would be nice?

Still, why give a shit what I think? I'm just some student... Never going to make you any money, never going to work for you or indeed any of your competitors. As much as I doubt you care, you can consider yourself to have lost a loyal fan.

Rubes.

3 months to go...

2010-03-06T15:27:00.001Z

So much of Uni done, so much more still to come!!

Apart from being almost finished Competition work, which has been what the last 2 months have been all about, we still have a whole lot to be getting on with.

Making our books pretty,
Setting up the Final Show,
A few new briefs chucked in,
Lectures from Alistair Proctor of NABS, Guy Moore of Leo Burnett, and ex-student Vicky and her creative partner,
Trying to find placements and work for when we leave,
Making sense of being a fully-fledged adult!

But right now I feel like D&AD has sucked my very last molecule of motivation, I am tired, broke and stressed, and all I want is a week off. Even a weekend off.

Gimme a damn break!!
Rubes.

The Apocalypse!

2010-03-03T13:00:00.000Z

Ok, not really.

Just saying, I have nearly finished watching Jericho, a US drama about a small Kansas town that is one of a very few to survive a massive nuclear attack on the USA. It is, as adlandsuit would say, fuckawesome.

It's all a bit complicated and I don't want to ruin it for you, but the plot goes: 23 bombs hit major US cities and chaos ensues. There's some secretive sorts who know too much about what's going on, and everyone else just trying to get by without electricity or any real contact with the outside world. Then deals go bad or good or people leave and come back and the personal lives of the main characters just make everything awfully complex. Mayor Green (ex US ranger), his wife and sons, their friends and neighbours, the local gangters, his election rival, and the leaders of surrounding towns are all trying to work together but of course have very different priorities. And so the story could march on forever...

Can't believe it got cancelled after only 29 episodes. Sad times.

I think it probably ended that way because it was just a wee bit too close to home for the US market. It came out in 2005 when the country was still reeling from the 9/11 attacks, so I think there may have been a little "I don't want to believe that this could really happen" sort of attitude.

Anyway, so, Jericho = two thumbs up. Now I need to go find out if Stanley and Mimi get married because that sort of thing generally ends badly in dramas that include a lot of people dying. Just look at Eastenders - people who get married on that show might as well sign their divorce papers and death certificates on the same day as they do the register!

Oh, the tension...

Rubes x

Oops, I had an opinion.

2010-03-02T17:58:00.001Z

Ok, so maybe my McDonalds comment over on ITIABTWC was a bit harsh.

I'm sorry, Anon. Sorry I have thoughts of my own. Like disliking McDonalds for being as lazy in their latest ad as they are in making food, and for giving fast food a bad name, and being generally crap.

Sorry I don't consider my blog comments as well as I consider my copywriting - which is as my profile says, the trade I aim to go into (as opposed to AD, which the brief you commented on was set for).

Sorry that I have some work which is weaker than others (you chose to pick on what is probably the weakest and most ambiguous piece on my page). As a side note: The brief (set early last year) was called '1+1=3' and was to take two elements of BBC: TV and Culture, and join them in a visual. Which is why they are 'culture vultures'. See? And no I have not improved on it since then.

Sorry that I haven't kept the page up-to-date.

Sorry that I'm not going to remove that ad at once, since it is the worst, I'd rather it gets stick than the others.

Sorry that you couldn't get my name right. I know, it's tough when someone's a bit different.

Sorry that your comment only adds to mine, in that you weren't very favourable, other than a backhanded 'good luck' with my final year. I don't expect flowery praise for everything I do, but I don't expect someone who has never met me to imply that I'm unwilling to learn or aggressive either. If you had, you would know how very wrong those implications are.

Sorry the comment I made has shown me in a bad light. No really, that I am sorry for.

Sorry that you don't have the guts to put a name to your comment.

Sorry that I don't give a shit what you think anyway, and that I hope I never have to meet or work with you, because you clearly only see the worst in people.

And finally, sorry that I happened to read your reply just after some bad news about our Course trip to London on friday, because the bad mood it put me in urged me to write this blog in response to you.

Ruby -
Now no longer visiting London Agency X. They have clients or something. Poostains.

The Future of Energy?

2010-02-28T13:01:00.001Z

Watch CBS News Videos Online

If this works, and is affordable - it really could be the answer! I'm fascinated...

Rubes x

Things my flatmates could do to avoid dying in their sleep.

2010-02-27T15:38:00.001Z

They listen. They agree. They DO NOT PERFORM.

1. Put empty food packets in the bin, don't leave them on the side. Pure laziness! The kitchen is 4 foot square! You could not miss a throw from any part of it!

2. Don't leave food that falls onto to hob there for 3 months, clean it when you spill it (before it dries on). Requires a lot less elbow grease, see?

3. DO NOT PUT PASTA DOWN THE SINK. Do not put any food down the sink! Not only does it clog the drain but some poor bastard (*cough*ME) has to fish it out when it's all soggy and gross! Scrape pans into the bin!

4. If you have leftovers, put them in the bin BEFORE they dry onto the plate/saucepan. If you put them in the fridge, for God's sake eat them, don't leave them for 3 months to develop exciting new species.

5. Stop stealing my supernoodles! They are emergency food for when I'm too lazy to go to the shop, not for when YOU are too lazy to go to the shop.

6. Dirty cutlery does NOT live under the coffee table!

7. Do not put sharp implements/ rustable objects (eg. Can Opener) in the sink-water, leave them on the side.

8. Ditto greasy pans. Every time you do this it means not only washing the pans poorly, or twice, but also scrubbing the grease from the washing up bowl. Pain in my ass!

9. Remember how you used to rinse the bath when you were done? Try starting that up again!

10. Once in a while, clean and hoover without me suggesting it. Please.

11. Remember I am not your mother. Nor am I a clean freak - I hate cleaning. These things are to AVOID cleaning as much as possible, by doing it as you go along!! IT'S CALLED COMMON SENSE.

Dear fucking God I am sick of reiterating these things. So I will post them here and in future, spam said flatmates' facebook pages with links to this post, until they get their act together.

That Friday Feeling...

2010-02-26T14:33:00.000Z

Like you just can't be arsed to do anything.

Started maccing-up my D&AD work, did one poster in 40 mins. Decided I can probably leave the other 2 for a while since they will only take the same amount of time (or less, since I have the basic frame now).

Watched a few interesting TED lectures, which I will post on the blog after some other folk bother putting stuff up (of the last 10 posts, 5 are mine and 3 are from Justin, our tutor). Collaboration generally works more evenly. Maybe I just spend more time reading/watching cool things and less time working... Everyone is kind of busy, but I don't think that's the best excuse!

Love this one:

So having a craft box if I ever run a studio. Maybe even a soft play/kindergarten style lunchroom or something.

And it reminded me too of the snowman post I made for the Inspiration blog, which I posted because I wanted to make snow fun again! You can be a grown-up and still play and have fun, in fact, it's essential to being a happy creative! What great news!

Then I watched the Machinima comp finalists for Runescape (sorry to admit, I do play this game, I am a Geek) which were quite hilarious. I wish I had screen capture software 'cos my entry would have been EPIC.
I would have had benefits and strategy and everything! Voted for the last one... which is in last place =[ Number 7 is leading the poll at the mo. Almost went with number 5 but then I realised I was only voting for the guys accent. None of you care anyway so I'll shh now...

And now I have run out of things to do, apart from watch Twitter and collect people's bit.ly's.

Roll on Saturday...
Rubes x

Most Epic Typo.

2010-02-24T10:23:00.000Z

I do collect the odd Typo, when I see them dotted about the news-web.

The Sun have picked up on the atrocious state of writing and grammar today, and published an article entitled "Is the UK littered with Illiteracy?" Very catchy I must say. Also has a picture of a naked schoolmarm, no wonder noone is learning to read. But of course the wonderful, wonderful Sun has given us even more joy today in the first paragraph of the article:

"FROM scattershot apostrophes to the Oxford comma, nothing gets some people more worked up than seeing our beloved language put through the mangel."

Mangel? a Mangel? That's like a mangy angel right? Cos I never put anything through a mangy angel. On the other hand, perhaps the Sun meant to write MANGLE but are just as retarded as their readers and, like many online news outlets, unable to work the spellchecker function.

How hard is it to proof read, morons?

Read more of the article, if you feel you need the Sun's expert help with your words... Likely.

Rubes x
Fighting for Spellcheckers everywhere!

Man's Last Stand

2010-02-23T12:13:00.000Z

This made me smile.

If ferrari is the car that says 'I have a tiny cock' then Dodge Charger should be the one that says 'I'm hung like a horse'. At least I think that's what they're going for...

The joy of boxed sets.

2010-02-23T10:28:00.000Z

I watched 6 seasons of NCIS this past month. Yeah, seasons. That's like... 120-odd episodes. An average of 3 a day.

I didn't do this because I'm some mad criminal drama freak (which I am, anyway) but because I got so into the back stories of the characters. It became like reading a book. When you watch something on TV, you still get all the story parts but split up, as though you read a chapter a week and then forget about it. Watching them all back to front gave a much bigger picture, and like with a book, I watched more episodes in a row when something big was happening.

The cliffhangers really stuck to me, I couldn't wait to turn the page. Or rather, play the next episode. The token crime in each episode became more of a way to balance out what was going on with the running stories.

And some of them were bloody fantastic too. But I don't do spoilers.

I cried at it, a few times. Never cried at a TV show before, but some pretty sad stuff happened and i cry at sad stuff in books and movies sometimes too. Whether this just means the writers are excellent or I am a sad freak, I think it's done something pretty special and I like to think it worked that way because of HOW I watched it. Otherwise, I am just a little too emotional...

This is the way to watch TV!

Ruby

Dissertation Complete.

2010-02-17T08:46:00.000Z

My dissertation is finished! Marvellous.

I would like to thank: Hamish Pringle for his excellent book, 'Celebrity Sells'. And Chris Rojek, P. David Marshall and all the many authors, researchers and journalists whose work I sourced. Also, tutors Tim, Mike and Annie and our subject Librarian, Frederick. But most importantly, I would like to thank India for the Tea.

The title is "How do Celebrities Affect our Spending Habits? - a paper on the interactions between brands, celebrities and the general public."

I could have raved on for much longer than 8,000 words. Really, some interesting stuff, a lot of people spend a lot of time discussing popular culture and celebrity. This essay was more of an overview, looking at examples of Endorsement, Sponsorship, Tabloids, Music in Advertising, and Product Placement. If you would like to read it, drop me an email at the address on my homepage...
that's the link over there by my face >>
and I will email you back the document.

It feels like a huge weight has gone from my shoulders, although spending a WHOLE DAY sorting out the referencing system has left me with a deep hatred of Harvard, and whichever git there designed their citation rules. If ever a dude needed a lesson in simplification...

Rubes x

Words I Like

2010-02-16T08:42:00.000Z

Red Lorry Yellow Lorry. Lolly. Loopy. Lumber. Logistics.

Crotchety. Kerazy. Calamity. Contentedness.

Mixmash. Marshmallow. Madagascar. Masquerade.

Flippant. Far-fetched. Ferocious. Flummoxed.

Nimble. Nautical. 'Natch'. Nilly (what's Nilly when he's not with Willy? - he's Nilly.)

Gobbledegook. Ginormous.

Perambulate. Planetary. Particular.

Happenstance. Hyperbole.

Symmetry. Smashing. Statute.

Ion. Ionic. Ironic. Ironing? No.

Supercalafragalisticexpiallidocious. (Even though the sound of it is really quite atrocious.)

Gaping Void

2010-02-15T18:44:00.000Z

My life encapsulated by Monsieur Hugh McLeod of gapingvoid.com.

Well, almost. Maybe. A bit encapsulated... perhaps more like echoed. In parts. Hilariously, anyway. Enjoy more on his webbysite on that there link up above.

Rubes x

Thank God we're not American

2010-02-15T08:01:00.000Z

Bullshit Merchants

We will have one more year than them to prepare for this monstrosity of invention...

How come TV is dead? How can they possibly have less viewers when the number of people watching telly goes up all the time? Have they started counting cars as a place you can watch TV, is that where this 25% drop comes from? Really? Bit lethal dontcha think, watching TV while you try to drive?

As a member of the 'younger generation' I am outraged that they think I think I need this service. Any decent self-respecting teenager knows how to get live TV on their laptop/iPhone so why make a whole new gizmo for it? Oh Yes, money.

Well maybe checking whether those 'younger generations' were up to speed with you on how much they want and need this stupid invention; would have served well in the budgeting process: eg. you could have forgotten all about it and moved on.

Noone is going to pay for this thing if they can get it for free elsewhere. Why not just make the websites that stream your TV legal? The only people likely to have a problem with that is BBC. Who have a brilliant and highly-used catchup service. As do most channels in fact.

So if you really are SO desperate to watch that show, but oh no you have to, say, pick up the kids from school, why watch it in the car when you can watch it later in the comfort of your home? Anyone willing to risk crashing their car to watch a TV show deserves a late abortion. As does whoever came up with this bullpoo.

In other news, TV is now on youtube, full-length shows are ready-buffered for you and it works a treat. Need another gizmo? No! You already have the simplest, most familiar way to get your TV fix. Has made 4OD's old website completely redundant but it was pretty shite anyway. Enjoy the simplest TV in the world: http://www.youtube.com/4oD

Rubes x

Blog Bandwagon

2010-02-12T09:16:00.000Z

sometimes things get picked up and hurled from blog to blog as everyone tries to share the awesomeness of said thing with the world. Allow me to join the blog bandwagon.

One day I will write sh*t like this. Funny, engaging, with a clear message and did I say funny? Well it deserves saying twice.

Rubes x

My Earliest Memory Is Of Flying

2010-02-10T10:48:00.001Z

When I was very small my family lived in a big, old farmhouse with another family, the McGurns, who had numerous adopted sons. We moved out when I was around 3 but I have two very distinct memories from before then.

The first is being spun around in the air by one of the McGurns oldest sons. He was very tall and our farmhouse kitchen was low-ceilinged, so I was able to touch the roof. It was always warm in there, apart from the terracotta tiles which were cold and hypnotically smooth. There was an Aga and a low sofa and the floor was covered in toys. I felt completely happy, safe and at home.

The second memory is of another of the McGurns sons. This took place on the front doorstep of the house which is jammed rather tightly in an alcove between a window and a wall. I remember him taking my wind-up penguin toy, holding it above his head so I couldn't reach it. It was a wet day and smelt of moss and mould from the old stone walls, which were shiny and dark. The doormat was muddy and I had wet feet. I was only wee, and when he didn't give it back I started crying. He told me if I told on him, I would get in trouble. I felt sad, trapped and abandoned.

I'm not entirely sure why this is playing on my mind, but I think the two juxtapose each other well. They say we are shaped as people by what happened when we were too young to remember it. The events in the first few years of our lives can truly change the course of our entire lives, not just in occasional or strange circumstances but for every one of us. What did my childhood make me? What did yours make you?

Ruby

First Meetings

2010-02-08T22:54:00.000Z

Ah, Edinburgh, I love you even in the pissing rain.
You bring me blisters and backache,
But also interesting people... and handbags!
How can you tease me so?

So I was up yonder northern way - that's real North, none of this 'anywhere outside the M25' bollocks - and I went to see some folks.

First of all, Leith Agency. They have a snazzy building on The Shore, and I sat in a cool red box/sofa arrangement and had a good old chat with the boss man - Gerry Farrell, CD. It was scary! But he was really very nice, gave me a list of books and websites and encouraged me to take a look at my book and see if I can't make it a bit more positive. He noticed that a lot of my work focusses on bad things the product might fix, rather than good things about the product. Definitely something to go back over and re-evaluate. It's interesting how a new perspective can pick up on things no-one else has, and the last thing you want is a negative-feeling book. He also stressed the importance of having something a bit different in your book - like a short film or examples of your other creative outlets. Also, it's important to mention - he made a damn good cuppa.

Then I took a wander through a rather soggy Leith to Ocean Drive (I want to work in a Lighthouse Family song!) and met with Zoe Martin, Senior Copywriter at the Gate. A totally different kind of agency with a lot less people and completely opposite chairs. Theirs are round and blue and squishy. As it turned out Leith is not that big a place, and I was miles too early for my meeting. Zoe very kindly met with me early and we had a good chat through some of my ideas, how I could simplify and clarify the strategies and what the Gate is all about. She pointed out how important it was to be able to write lots, fast, and make boring things seem interesting - when you make more than just ads you have to write more than just headlines. With a lot of Financial and Service clients under her wing, turning jargon into copy is pretty important.

The big, big difference between the two was their opinion on partners - at Leith, very important. Twice the brainpower, twice the skill and ability I guess. At the Gate, not so at all - Zoe said hardly anyone has been hired there as part of a team, but people pair up within the agency. Gerry said he knows of no forum in Scotland for meeting creative partners, worse luck, so I am going to have to get 4x as awesome.

Oh and I got 2 handbags for £10!!!! One of them, I saw the spitting image of in RubyRed and it was £35! I got it for £3! Woooha! Have been dying on a new handbag for MONTHS!

Well I promised myself I would post all this before I went to bed, but it's now 23.14 and I got up at 5am. Yeah. That's dedication, but now it's sleepy-bye time!

Rubes x

I like girls to know I might be diseased.

2010-02-04T18:32:00.001Z

My flatmate was accosted today in a local student drinking hole, and told he could not use the bathroom unless he agreed to pee in a cup.

No, it was not deviant fetishists, but strong-willed anti-STI campaigners. Very noble in it's intention for sure. (And who isn't anti-STI?)

However his prize for succumbing to the test somewhat worries me. If my lovely man undressed himself and I found these underneath, I would be concerned to say the least.

Tested - but not necessarily clear? And somewhat too keen to let the lucky lass(es) know, aswell. Just puts a lot of doubt into the mix in my opinion and probably leads to starting a conversation that will totally kill the mood. They do say abstinence is the best way to stay clean! Maybe that was the point all along.

He's just happy to have a new pair of pants. Boys eh? What can you do!

Rubes x

Love is a literal Battlefield.

2010-02-03T18:23:00.000Z

This craze seems to have sort of rocketed out of control on youtube, but this guy's are better than most.

Watch and enjoy, not only the awesome 80's fashion and hair, but the magnificently rewritten lyrics.

Twitter

2010-02-03T08:02:00.001Z

So I have added twitter to my morning roll call.

Facebook-Hotmail-Blogger-Facebook-Hotmail-Uni has become

Facebook-Twitter-Hotmail-Blogger-Twitter-Facebook-Hotmail-Uni.

If I bother with DeviantArt that's another one.
Sometimes I check Youtube too.

I really am in that god-awful 'internet generation' that I hoped I wasn't.

And I'm probably saying what a lot of people said when Twitter first emerged - in fact, it's what I said back then too - It's just like my Facebook wall but with a lot, lot, lot more stuff going up all the time.

I endeavour to keep it sort of interesting, or at least useful, and not just say 'omg so drunk last nite rofl' or whatever the 99.9% of users drivel on about. It may work it may not. If I bore you, tell me so! And if you're on twitter, stalk me!

Rubes x

OMG.

2010-02-01T18:54:00.000Z

Have we got a lot of work to do this term!

Oh. My. Yes we do.

Including some things that will take less time than expected (hopefully), some that will take more; some that need doing sooner and some later, and some more important than others. But still, a crap-load-ton of work to be getting on with.

On the plus side, we have visiting lecturers aplenty to help

1. Space out the work we have to do with some different kinds of teaching/working. Rory Sutherland will be coming by and for his lecture, we are actually in a lecture theatre! There's a first time for everything!
2. Teach us valuable and important stuff about the industry, including small, specific tutorials for Art Directors/Copywriters separately (led by Alex Taylor and Roger Horberry respectively). Yay! Copywriting, here I come!
3. Drive us absolutely mad as there will undoubtedly be other things we could be getting on with!

In between these lectures and workshops, We have 2 YCN briefs to complete, 2 D&AD briefs to start and complete, dissertation to do, and a brief set by either Karmarama, Ogilvy or W&K to be critted by senior creatives at the agencies! Yikes! (Fingers crossed that I get to go to Karmarama!)

I also have fun at the fair next monday as I jet off home to Scotland, visiting the Gate and Leith Agencies in the process! The battle for time commences thus, as my book crits are on a monday I will miss my WIP for first draft D&AD, setting me back slightly, but hopefully I can catch up fairly sharpish... And plenty of time on the train to do this damned dissertation. Why can't it just die!

Once again I must sign off with what is becoming a mantra:

Lots to do, lots to do!

Rubes x

Face-off

2010-01-30T08:51:00.001Z

She didn't quite make the cut to my YCN project, but I liked her face so much I thought I'd share her. A little Kerazy in your wine anyone?

This guy's just got a face like a lemon...

:D

Rubes x

Championing the Grown-Up Day.

2010-01-28T08:04:00.000Z

Apparently my brain thinks that 6.30 - 7am is a good time to wake up these days.

Personally, I'm appalled. No student should see those hours unless they've stayed up all night!

Then it tries to go to sleep at 9pm. Which I haven't done since I was about 10.

But I suppose in real world terms, a LOT of people get up at 7am or earlier. And one day I will have to too. And then I will sit on a train for an hour and probably a bus and then I'll be at work - even if I do move to the city it won't be much after. What's this idea with 9-5? Doesn't 10-6 sound so much nicer?

Might as well get a head start on this work-day then... And hope for a lie in at the weekend like the normal grown-ups do.

Rubes x

Reasons why today sucks and is stupid.

2010-01-26T15:13:00.000Z

1. I ripped a hole in the arse of my favourite jeans. This has happened before and I took to wearing cool tights underneath, but these are not those kind of jeans. Stupid bony bum.

2. Instead of making up cool ads, I am producing them. I hate Photoshop. I hate Photographing things. I hate fiddling with DPI and Nodes and Direct Selection and Perspective. I hate worrying about 'is this curve smooth, as smooth as it should be' or 'should that type be at 16 point or 17 point and does it look better in cream or beige' or all that other fiddly Graphic Designer Shit. I'm an advertiser not a bloody Mac Monkey! Stupid YCN. Stupid Feel Good. Stupid Alcoholic Children.

3. I have no other clean jeans so have to sit with one buttcheek colder than the other until my other jeans are dry. God I wish we had a tumble dryer. Stupid landlord.

4. I have no money to buy replacement jeans but know from past experience if I sew these the hole will only get worse. Stupid fabric stresses.

5. Other people have much bigger problems than I do so I now feel guilty about being so upset over a stupid, beautiful, comfortable, pair of jeans when some people don't have food or shelter. I want to mourn in peace not feel bad for doing it! Stupid conscience.

6. It's Tuesday. That's 4 whole days till the weekend. Stupid Tuesday.

7. Yesterday in a crit someone had stolen my strategy for a YCN brief. Yesterday I boiled inside with pure rage, and today I realised they probably have a better chance of winning, cos it's more 'competition-y' than mine even though I think I have a better proposition, but oh no it's boring print and theirs is all fancy social media shit. I give up. Stupid Twitter. Stupid competition bias. Stupid thieves.

8. We are meant to have Justin today for the first time since 1st year, he is awesome and just has one of those faces that cheers you up straight away, but his lectures don't start till next week. Stupid Timetable.

>:-[

That's an Angry face.

9. I can't find dimensions for a T-shaped bus-side adspace anywhere. I need it to get on with my work. Stupid 'all knowing' internet that doesn't tell me what I need to know!! [EDIT: A nice commenter on ITIABTWC blog left me a link to find them. :D]

10. The pictures are shit and not exactly connected to the post, while it is true that I hate Kanye it's not quite in the 'I hate today' vein. Stupid Kanye. Stupid Google Images shitty results. Stupid Stupid Stupid Day!!

2010-01-23T11:48:00.000Z

My David Cameron poster. Try it yourself: http://www.andybarefoot.com/politics/cameron.php

I Know Me

2010-01-22T09:31:00.000Z

Assessment, Aaargh.

Running late as usual. Not too bad, I was just before lunch and an hour over.
It seems my main skill is knowing my skills and weaknesses. Which is nice, I guess. I know what to do I just don't always do it. So I have much to do in 3-4 months. Simplify. Write. Get up in the AM - work 9-5. Think Big. Simplify some more.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!

Published!

2010-01-20T09:18:00.001Z

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2010/jan/20/origin-of-the-loyal-toast

I have been published in the Guardian. I am, in short, rather excited about this!

Someone asked the G2 queries page how old their 5-year-old PC might be in human years. My 55 word answer has been printed in todays G2! See the answer at the link above. Tell me what you think!

Rubes x

Assessment

2010-01-18T12:12:00.001Z

You know when you're all cool at school and you're like 'I didn't even study for this one, and I'm going to ace it, haha.' and then you do, because it was so f**king easy. But you don't know that until the next year when it gets harder. And you still don't study.

Then 3 years later you find yourself struggling, not over the precise area of a semi-circle (R-15) with a square hole (3x3) in it; but over the loop on an E having a rounded edge or a point, whether the word 'Biofuel' really says 'chip-fat' to more people than is permissable or was it just your crit group that day, or whether your expertly traced Lucida Blackletter will actually be readable by the tutors when they flick by.

Since my strategies and ideas are pretty much fixed now, at least for the purposes of Wednesday's assessment, I can only sit and worry about the little things. And the worst part is, there's still no right and wrong here. At least if you didn't know your Maths, you could say 'It's not like I'll ever need to use it though' and feign aloofness while secretly dying inside when you fail.

In a creative subject, where there are no right and wrong answers, it's hard to prepare yourself for the worst, since you don't really know what they will talk about at all. They might pick a totally different hole in my work than I anticipate, one I haven't even noticed. You can still try and say 'But that's what I was going for' or 'You just don't UNDERSTAND my GENIUS!' (They are more open to wild statements like that than your average maths teacher, anyway) but it's not likely to work.

In this case, I don't think I can do that anyway. Faking takes a deal of concentration and certain amounts of planning. Since I don't know what they're going to say, I can't plan for it. My whole future is under scrutiny here. Is my book good enough to get me a placement? Will that placement be in a good agency, offering me enough creative directions to improve, eventually getting a job? Or am I destined to be the worst possible person ever, as Bill Hicks would see it - an Advertiser who didn't make it, and instead ended up as a 'f**king waffle waitress'. My worst nightmare.

If this goes badly, there may well be floods of tears. If it goes well, madness could potentially take over and leave me running through Lincoln in my knickers, Archimedes style. (Will that get me a better grade?) Fingers crossed for a Eureka moment. I will try my best to keep my clothes on.

Rubes..

Dandelion Clocks

2010-01-12T15:10:00.000Z

How exciting. Our last semester before they release us like dandelion seeds into the great blue sky of Advertising. And like dandelion seeds, most will follow the wind and end up scattered roughly around London. One or two will take an updraft, change direction a few times, and settle in a more random place, perhaps Manchester or Leeds.

I am the dandelion seed that has to fight gales, slip through windows on trains, attach myself to fluffy scarves or a child's sticky but inquisitive fingers, and somehow, with a little luck, find my way into a job somewhere where no other Lincolnite dandelion seeds have been before.

The Clock is Ticking! One... Two... Three... Blow me to Scotland!

Hogmanay

2009-12-31T11:21:00.000Z

May your first foot be tall dark and handsome, complete with bread, coal and a shiny penny too.

New Year's traditions are great aren't they?

My favourite is the tradition that New Years is never as good as it's hyped up to be. The one night everyone is forced to go out and have a feckin' amazing time - well, forcing anyone to do anything is generally a great way to make sure they don't do it. And of course in Scotland this is doubled, 'cos we have our own special word for New Year, we invented Whisky, and we wrote the feckin' song too.

I generally try to minimise the dissappointment of Hogmanay by having no expectations, and preferably no plans until a few days before. This year we partake of a soiree at my boyfriend's parents. Vodka, wine, poker, video games, and possibly a wee bit dance if things get crazy. I doubt we'll even sing Auld Lang Syne. So here's to a so-so New Year.

To add to the so-so-ness this year, anyone stotting home from the pub at 5am after a lock-in will be doing so through 4 inches of snow - which is conveniently lying on top of a sheet of ice in these parts. So even if you have a smashing night on the tiles, it will end with your face smashing into some tiles. On the plus side people fighting in the street will look more like people taking their first goes on poorly-fitting ice skates. Hi-larious.

As it is my second favourite part of the season, I give you the full and unedited version of Robbies' biggest selling hit, Auld Lang Syne. A marvellous song oft misquoted and mis-sung, although I hear the Queen has learned when to cross her hands now. In general the middle 3 verses are left out for Hogmanay singalongs, but remember, you DON'T CROSS HANDS till the line 'There's a hand my trusty fiere' [friend].

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I’ll be mine,
And we’ll tak a cup o kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d monie a weary fit,
Sin auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne.

For a translated version click here to go to my dad's blog: http://grahambell.org/wordpress/archives/443

Have a goodun'! Rubes x

The meaning of Christmas 2009

2009-12-28T10:39:00.001Z

This is what I got for Christmas this year:

2 Terry's Chocolate Oranges
a marzipan log
a box of Coconut Ice
a box of Turkish Delight
a tangerine (yes we still have stockings)
'Glasgow Kiss' by Alex Gray, supposedly the 'new Ian Rankin', we shall see.
The Inbetweeners season 1 and 2 DVDs
several candles
a rubber turkey in a santa suit - awarded bad taste present of the year.
The Dark Knight on DVD
a purse
£50
£25 of HMV vouchers
a guinea-pig themed calendar.
a ring - beats all other presents to a pulp, it being full of sapphires and diamonds, and proof at last that my boyfriend loves me more than my family do (don't quote me on that though).
a coat (which I am going with Mum to buy today, cos she couldn't choose.)

This is what I ate for Christmas this year:

Smoked salmon and scrambled eggs (traditional family brekkie)
Goose with roast potatoes and parsnips, sprouts, mash, swede, bread sauce, stuffing, sausages in bacon, all the yummiest things.
Lots of chocolates.
Boxing Day I went to my boyfriend's mum's and ate the biggest plate of curry I've ever seen in my life, apart from the one my boyfriend scarfed down.
Have also drank a lot of wine and vodka, but a lot more tea. It's freeeeeeezing here!

Enjoy your 2010!
Ruby x

Finally A Real Grown-Up

2009-12-23T08:11:00.000Z

So, I got up at 6am and scraped the car down. Wet feet. Cold hands. No time for a cuppa. Lovely.

Mum drove (very slowly and carefully) to Berwick Station, icy roads, much stress, and flurries of snow included. We then decided that the 'treacherous' weather warnings - playing every 5 minutes on the radio - that might trap us in Edinburgh were really worth listening to, so let's not bother. 5 inches of snow over night and it's headed our way, never mind the 5 inches we already have. Very sensible to turn home - I do NOT want to be stuck in the city for a night.

Unfortunately this means that I miss my meeting with Zoe Martin at the Gate! I am SO annoyed! Was really looking forward to it, my first proper agency visit, at a really great agency, had so many things to talk about and ask her - I just hope we can reschedule or I am going to kick mother natures ass!

I hate snow. And therefore I am, unfortunately, a real live grown-up at last.

Rubes =[

Rage Against the RATM Machine

2009-12-21T14:57:00.001Z

Ok, so they did it, I say they meaning the Facebook community, 'cause I have bought neither Joe McElderry or Rage Against the Machine even though I quite like both of them.

Dear God! Who'd a' Thunk you could like a cute wee pop star from Geordieland who won a major popularity contest, AND a rap-metal group from the underground, dreadlock heavy, 'anti-establishment' movement. Of course they're not underground any more, as anti-capitalist as they may be, cause they've been and played live on bloody 5 radio, and been all over the news. Which is kind of the point I'm making.

This Facebook group, rather than pave the way for a new wave of music where everyone just buys what they like, has started it's own sheep-herding exercise, whereby anyone who DOESN'T follow X-Factor is instantly bound by common dislike to follow RATM instead.

"FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME."

That should apply to people telling you to buy RATM as much as it does to someone telling you to buy Joe McElderry.

Why do we even care about the chart any more? All the coolest bands give their music away for free. The chart is obselete. I don't know what was in it for the other 51 weeks of this year, so why should I care about this week so much? 90% of the music I've bought this year is over 10 years old already. And just so you remember, about Christmas No. 1, Bob the Builder won it a few years back. Westlife. Spice Girls. Mr Blobby has too. Christmas No. 1 is not necessarily something to be proud of.

So well done to Rage for breaking the X-Factor monopoly. Congratulations on having a UK number 1 single, especially at Christmas, and I hope to see you out and about in your new Prius' before long. Cos let's face it, whatever 'anti-establishment' message you tried to put over, you've still made a shit-load of money here, haven't you.

Working over Christmas

2009-12-21T13:34:00.000Z

Well I've kind of got my book arranged, a few things I want to change, but I think I'm mostly set for going up to Edinburgh in a couple of days. Since it's halfway through the year I thought I would share some of my stuff with you guys. Or just Tom, my one lonely follower (thanks Tom).

So, my 3 favourite things I've done this year. If I see these in print any time ever rest assured I will come after you with a big stick (or lawyer) demanding far more money than I would if you were to hire me to do them for you. No, Seriously.

With Illy Osei - This poster for Harry Ramsdens would be put in grubby, dirty and graffiti'd bus shelters (or the bus shelters would be grubbied up beforehand). Here they are talking straight to the target market, stood in the rain with their greasy plastic tubs and rubbish wooden forks. This is the only bit of work this year that M&G have been unable to improve... Score 1 for The Marshmallow Tractor Factory!

This is the very early stages of something for YCN, warning young people of the dangers of drinking without being too alarmist. My idea is that when drunk, it's not you thinking or making decisions, it's the drink.

With Nadine Palmer - These ad's for Mr. Sheen are aimed at men aged between 20-35. We wanted a fun way to show that it can clean loads of different things - No Mr. Sheen character allowed! Also, we tried to make it not rhyme. Unfortunately clean is just the right word, no quicker way to say it.

Apologies for the poor phone-camera pictures (i tried to clean them up a bit) and for the Arial Bold font, I promise I will buy myself a decent bold sans serif ASAP!

Rubes x

The Gate

2009-12-17T20:42:00.000Z

On Saturday I'll be taking the train back home for christmas (unless we're all under 4 feet of snow, but come on, one flurry doth not a winter make).

On Wednesday morning I'm off to Edinburgh to talk to Zoe Martin, Senior Copywriter at The Gate agency: http://www.nonlinemagazine.com/personnel/creative/profile-zoe-martin

While I've been searching around for Scottish agencies for a while, I only found The Gate a few days ago - they sneakily don't have an easy website name! When I did find their website, I was happy to see an old friend from the past in their case studies:

These posters were all around my High School, and apart from one in the nurses office about skin cancer which had a man on a kebab rack and was... scary... They are actually the only ones I remember. Oh, and some healthy eating thing with fruit in sweet wrappers - cliche on toast anyone?

But these, aimed at raising awareness and lessening stigma around mental ill health, really stuck with me. It was lovely to put an agency to something which means a lot to my own past. They really struck me. They made me think - 'Do I label people like that? I shouldn't.' and since then I have remembered them any time someone makes a passing (derogatory) comment about someone they 'know' with mental health problems. This is the one they feature on their website, but there was also a girl with a necklace that read 'anorexic' as far as I remember.

I remember saying to someone, 'Hey that's clever, isn't it?' and them replying rather unenthusiastically. Perhaps this is where it all started for me? Where I started to appreciate advertising? Who knows. But it wasn't with kebab man, that's for sure.

So, I'm really looking forward to talking to Zoe about life in Scottish Advertising. My first real agency meeting! Scary! But what fun we shall have!

Rubes x

Up In the Morning Early...

2009-12-16T08:08:00.000Z

Well, today, as they say, is the first day of the rest of my life!

So, Mike, Do I need a partner? Will my book be more accepted without one? If she's not coming with me to get a job, is there any point in having a book full of work with her, even if it's better? Honestly, it's not about the degree any more - I need to know I can get a JOB with this thing! So please don't do that whole thing you did last time... with the 'hmmm I don't know about Scotland'. Perhaps you should endeavour to find out, seeing as over time you will quite likely have more that just little old me being awkward about London? It's not the only place in the world after all.

God this is the first time I've been scared to go to Uni.

I guess I really do want this, which for a start means I want it more than my sort-of-partner, but should I stick with her just to get better work? Do the bigger projects with her? Or not bother at all?

Confused/*Rubes... x

Conflicting Life Directions

2009-12-14T21:56:00.000Z

I'M A HIPPY!

There, I said it. And I still love advertising. Got a problem with that? No? Good.

:D
Rubes x

More poor internet journalism.

2009-12-14T18:17:00.000Z

"Shortly before the winner was announced, Paul McCartney, dressed in a Beatles-style tight-fitting jacket, sang Drive My Car and was joined on stage by the 12 finalists, before moving to a piano to sing Bong anthem Live and Let Die." http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1235820/I-hours-sleep-admits-X-Factor-winner-Joe-McElderry-enjoys-day-pop-star.html#ixzz0Zgk6Y4TD

A superb slip of the finger, I think Bond or Bong fit equally well...
And I'm not quite so shocked by the Daily Mail's lack of spellchecking than I am by the Brand Republic slip I mentioned a few days ago... But come on guys. Does it take that much effort to proof read? If I can do it... You can do it too!

On a side note... Go Joe! A deserved winner. And if you look on the ITV website for the show voting statistics you'll see that it was a cinch, really; "It's-too-close-to-call" Cowell don't know shit.

Rubes x

3 Glasses

2009-12-13T15:55:00.000Z

I love it! Not Tanqueray, not really a gin-lover, but this almost makes me want to drink it! A Rorschach test for your tongue... lovely. Since Dave Morris mentioned 'Core Users' vs. 'Non Core Users' It's been on my mind quite a lot - a term our tutors haven't really used, but one that really matters I think. You can't sell something to someone who just doesn't need or want it - or maybe you can?

And quite pretty too!

You know you use facebook too much when...

2009-12-13T14:00:00.000Z

Every time you read Dave Trott's blog you look for a 'Like' button.

Every time you watch a movie you consider how many stars you want to give it on the Movies app.

You find this video funny:

I am guilty of all these things.

Scandals of the decade!

2009-12-12T16:27:00.000Z

As my dissertation is on Celebrities and how they affect out spending habits, and since I have loads to do but I am procrastinating, and also because top-10's seem to be 'in' at the minute, here's a list of my top scandals of the last few years.

1. Kate Moss Cocaine Addict. Need we say more!

2. Chris Brown beats up Rhianna. What a cunt! The worst thing about this story is that I recently found all kinds of gossip websites with comments saying stuff like 'Well she must have done something to deserve it.' Really? Does ANY woman deserve to be battered by the man she loves? Those twisted, evil people.

3. Blind Politician able to satisfy wife AND mistress! Zomg! (Lost the wife, and career, but oh well.) I never really understood why everyone was so shocked by this, just because he's blind doesn't mean he can't screw up. Or indeed, that he can't be lovely once you get to know him... Our very own Quasimodo.

4. Kerry Katona Kerazy. What a shocker, eh! Who'd a' thunk it! Fat/thin/fat/thin - coke/frozen foods/coke/frozen foods... And in Atomic Kitten! CLEARLY CRAZY FROM THE START.

5. Britney shaves her head. So what? This was made infinately more important and newsworthy by Chris Crock'er'shit and his whining, teary rant on Youtube which clocked 4,000,000 hits in 2 days when the story broke. Hi-larious.

6. MP's have poor taste in pond Decoration. And don't know how much they should reasonably be paying for decorating and electrical. And need taxi's for their little fat-cat legs, etc, etc, etc. There is more of this in the paper today. I'm over it, but the column inches don't lie, this is a big, big deal in the noughties.

7. TV phone lines will rob you of every penny you own. Anyone who ever fell for those things deserves to be poor anyway. They clearly can't think for themselves... And the only one that was ever worth entering was the Gadget Show, tch.

8. Tour de France Cyclists on doping charges. Well you'd have to be stoned to do that really, wouldn't you.

9. 10 of the 12 Spanish Basketball Paralympians who won Gold in 2000 aren't disabled. Hilarious, even if it is in bad taste! And it helped create 'The Ringer', I'm fairly certain. A funny feel-good film with Johnny Knoxville, which teeters on the edge of 'acceptable' but turns out ok in the end...

10. "I bought my knighthood fair and square!" Politicians prove once again that it is specifically their money that is the route of all evil. Why'd you need an MBE anyway? It's not like you get the keys to Balmoral, huge tracts of land (Blackadder geeks?), or anything...

Well now I really should get the 'fear' on and start doing some actual work!

Rubes x

All the Kings Horses...

2009-12-11T21:36:00.000Z

"LONDON - Michael Heseltine, the founder and executive chairman of the UK's largest independently owned publishing company, Haymarket Media Group, is to hand over the reigns to his son Rupert in January next year."

I'm posting this here because it seemed rude to put it in a comment, but really, I expect better from Brand Republic.

Reins. It should be REINS. He has reigned over the company for 50 years. But he hands the REINS to his son.

Argh!

I know, I know, I'm pedantic... Can't help it!

I Capture the Castle

2009-12-10T02:04:00.001Z

This week we have another lecture from the lovely Dave Morris - a really nice guy and a great teacher. For this weeks lecture he asked us (among other things) to collect a range of Human Truths:

One of parents.
One of our childhood.
One from a comedian.
One from a book/play/film.
One from our own experience.

This has been fun in itself, but I'm especially pleased because scouring my bookshelves turned up this beautiful, wonderful book by Dodie Smith, that I had quite forgotten about. Even looking at the cover puts a smile on my face. The disfunctional family, the hopes and dreams of such a naive, and yet wise narrator, the beautiful imagery and setting - I love the story. And I've only read it twice! So time to start over. If you haven't read it - I would recommend you do. Particularly if you need to feel better, or want reassurance that there are perfectly crazy normal people just like you all over the place. Which there are.

Oh... the Truths you ask? Well the one from this rather excellent book is "Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression."
The others I will keep secret in case my classmates are secretly following me...

Stalkers!

Love Rubes x

Maybe we can have some real ads now.

2009-12-09T10:13:00.000Z

Ben over at ITIABTWC brought my attention to this http://www.campaignlive.co.uk/News/972772/Anomaly-beats-Fallon-50m-Sony-Europe-account/

Fallon have been dropped by Sony. Now while Ben ponders the future of the ad agency, I ponder the future of Sony ads. Perhaps now you could tell us something like where I can buy one, how much it costs, or how wide the screen is, instead of mucking about with giant plasticine rabbits? If Argos can then you guys can. Cheers.

Not that I don't appreciate art direction in all it's wonderfulness, they are very pretty, feel-good adverts. However they bring me no closer to caring wether my TV is Sony, Phillips, Toshiba or anything other particular brand. TV's are the sort of thing you buy depending on how good they look/sound in the shop and how much they cost. Yes, i want the best picture, but unless I actually see something on a Sony screen, and it kicks the shit out of it's neighbours for less money, I am no closer to choosing that brand.

Mild Stroke of Genius

2009-12-04T10:12:00.001Z

Simon: Absolutely Awful. I can't believe Louis had the audacity to suggest that you two had an iota of talent between you. Get off the Stage!

Dani: Well, I agree with Simon that it wasn't very good, but I think your attitude, and the fact you get up here week after week, is just so inspiring... Keep it up Guys!

Cheryl: I actually quite enjoyed that, you know, and I think you two could go a long way. Great song choice, "all I wanna do is do it" really suits your attitude and the kids your own age can relate to that. The only thing I will say, is I am never, ever, hiring your stylist!

Louis: Well guys, an all round great performance, I love the hand jives and Perry's bogey-flick, and you know Simon's just jealous, ignore him!

Home is where the Heart is...

2009-12-01T14:31:00.000Z

So, I was back home in bonny Scotland over the weekend. I love it. I get home, I see stars! Literally! I had forgotten how many there are up there! Among other things I visited Edinburgh for a day. Now, city living is not cheap, especially if you don't actually live there. £11.30 is the railcard price for the train. Then the fact that the trains go at odd times meant entertaining myself for 4 hours on a budget of as-little-as-possible.

So of course, my metropolitan mind bought a Guardian, and a lot of coffee. Is it just me or is coffee never worth what you pay for it? Starbucks, not worth it. Nero, Almost worth it if the barista is decent and doesn't burn the milk. Truck-stop slop, not worth it and possibly not even coffee... So I invite you to sample the Southern Cross on Cockburn street, just up from the station. Smiley Aussie waitresses and coffee that, while not as posh as some, is at least well made and reasonably priced. They also do a mean Haggis.

I also visited the National Museum , one of the best places to while away hours in Edinburgh - because it is warm, free, and almost burrow-like, you can get lost and found and lost all over again. The adjoining Royal Museum is currently under refurbishment, so I couldn't visit the Millenium Clock (hold off all visits until May '11, you don't want to miss this!) but I did get a good 2 hours meandering from the other galleries. Salt of the Earthwas a definite highlight. An exhibition of portrait photography by Chris Mackay, featuring influential Scots and persons of Scottish decent, as part of the Homecoming 2009 national celebration. [on a side note, kids in Scotland were given St. Andrews day off this year. Screw you Salmond! I demand 14 extra days holiday that I missed out on while at school.]

Some images from Salt of the Earth. Quote from Rosanne Cash, Daughter of Johnny Cash, who can trace roots back to 11th century Scottish noblemen.

I would also like to say Thanks to Crabbit Copywriter (over there in my sidebar) for taking time to come and chat with me about Scottish Advertising. Between us we met a charming drunk bloke (Who thought John Knox was called John Muir and that we were both American), had a good natter about Uni, the differences between London, the rest of England and Scotland, and she gave me some good advice so Thank you very much, CC.

10 things that are wrong with My Generation.

2009-11-23T00:06:00.000Z

And how to fix them.

1. None of us read the news. This one is either fixed already, in that we read lots of other stuff that is just as important (movie reviews, the back of DVDs, blogs, Twitter, whatever). Or it is completely unfixable (until there is better news, we don't care to read it. It's full of politicians and war and famine, we want to know stuff like where Noel Fielding is RIGHT NOW and how to hack our phones to get unlimited video calls. THATS news.) The only other option: Give us 10 years to be miserable enough to care.

2. Most of us are wankers. It could be supposed that most of any generation are wankers. But we sure are more vocal about it. Bet my dad knew some wankers. Bet they didn't run around at night with baseball bats and knives breaking shit up and threatening people. The only real solution to this is what I like to call 'Overdue Abortion'. I think you can guess what that is.

3. None of us can write. Well, ok, in the hopes of EVER getting a job, I guess one or two of us can. The rest needed a school system not quite so enamoured with making us 'feel good about ourselves' and more enamoured with TEACHING US. It's too late for them. Save the young ones while you can. I was recently told by my subject librarian at Uni that the Dissertations and written work he sees from Scottish students is streets ahead of our English and Welsh peers. I thought english was taught the same way everywhere. Apparently not. Handwriting wouldn't go amiss either, although I hear they're banning pens in school soon, health and safety, y'know, a raging tween could kill someone with that kind of sharp implement.

4. We all think we're the Shiznitz. This is the schools fault, in part, and also the fault of our parents and TV. TV has given us false impressions of what success means. It has made improbable and unattainable dreams seem as though they are only at the end of our fingertips. Schools are encouraged to seek out every child's 'inner talent', when it may well be they just don't have one intrinsically based in their body. This is stopping young people from realising that sometimes, you have to WORK to be good at something. And, they also fail to mention, "There will always be someone better than you at what you do." Why should we teach children to have self esteem that will be crushed the instant they step into the real world? Teach them a craft, something they can build on for the rest of their lives, and eventually they will grow self-esteem to match their talents rather than overshadow them.

5. We use words like Shiznitz. I actually like the word, it sounds great and it's fun to say. But I know I sound like a dick when I say it, not least because I'm a wee Scottish white girl. And I know it makes all 'adults' within a certain radius cringe. And yet I don't want to fix this problem. We all have our little flaws. Shiznitz lives on.

6. We are more at home staring at a screen than sitting in a park. The simplest way to fix this would be that if that Y2K bug magically turned up 10 years late. But I doubt that'll happen. I'm at a loss on how to fix this one really, especially as I haven't been in a park for over a year myself, but there must be a way. Advertising! I'll get right on that.

7. We have little to no concept of the horrors of our history. Sure, we all got taught WW1 and WW2. Perhaps more than that in England (I was taught the Jacobites and the Highland Clearances, I actually know nothing about 1066). The only thing that really struck me was our class trip to the battlefields. The walls of Ypres with their engravings of name upon name, the countless matching headstones, so lovingly maintained (at a stark and sad contrast to many British cemeteries) is what really hit it home for me. I think every child should be taken there at least once, when they are of an age to understand death and war in it's entirety, and preferably before they are bought Call of Duty or any other gratuitously violent war game.

DEVVO!

8.We really don't care. About anything. Ourselves, the Future, the Planet... I think we have all subconsciously resigned to the fact this world will probably end, in our lifetimes. 2014 anyone? I think this stems rather depressingly from the efforts of generations previous - they tried everything, have been for ages, and now that all channels are exhausted they expect US to tidy up this mess? Global Warming, War, Famine, Live 8, etc etc - All these protests and what did they achieve? Little to nothing. So, revolutionary as I may be in mind, my body has better things to get on with. And those things were your fault anyway. So you bloody fix them.

9. We have no sense of responsibility for our actions. This links to 2 and 3, although perhaps speaks more about people a little younger than me. If schools will continue to teach children that it's 'not their fault' and punishes them by taking stars off a chart rather than say, keeping them in at Lunch on a snow day (oooh, that's cold.) They will never learn anything about being responsible. Stars mean nothing. Well, in my house they meant pocket money, there's probably some law about teachers handing out cash in class. If a parent buys a kid £80 shoes and he wrecks them, then gets bought another pair, what is that telling the child? You can break anything and I'll fix it? How about that guys face? Not so easy is it...

10. We all think everyone is interested in everything we think all the time. See above and below for evidence. Or Facebook, Twitter, blah blah. So, I went to the shops. Does the whole world need to know? probably not. But if I were to say so on my facebook page, no doubt someone will 'like' it and someone else will comment 'Me Too!' and then it's deemed 'NEWS', and appears on everyone I ever knew's homepage, as if they give a fuck. They might be people I haven't seen since school, or relatives who really do NOT need the details of saturday night made available to them. So I TRY to make my status interesting. Lots of the time it's still not. I don't really know how to Fix that... hmm.

Well, sometimes you gotta end on a downer. Peace Out...
Rubes.

Something I will never understand...

2009-11-22T13:38:00.001Z

I get the Cobra/curry connection. It's lager, it's sold in just about every indian restaurant ever, it's cool, refreshing, blah blah. I get a Facebook group called 'We Love Curry' because even I, spice wimp, like a good Korma now and then. What I can't get is why Cobra think that having this group with their logo on will in any way increase sales of lager. Let's not play games here, they haven't done it just because everyone at HQ loves curry and "WTFOMG let's make a cool group for us all to 'hang out' on together LOL". They have done it to increase people's perceptions that Cobra is the lager BEST SUITED to quenching the curry-fire after indulging. But facebookers aren't that way inclined. They will join the group and then never, ever look at it again. I know. I'm a group-a-holic. I join, post, and instantly forget.

That's not to say the problem couldn't be fixed. At least people will go on the page once, they might even read it, if they have time. Get 'em hooked, and quick. Get your REAL message out there. Surely, the group should be 'We love Cobra with our Curry'. Otherwise it is a completely pointless exercise. Thank God for Cobra that Facebook is free, I'm sure whatever convinced them to jump on this bandwagon wasn't.

Ruby.

Detox is for Quitters!

2009-11-16T15:04:00.000Z

A week off... we've been given a week off!

That might sound like an exclamation of joy, but it isn't really. I've just got into a nice routine. Now they want us to stop working for a week and have a 'Creative Detox', which I could understand had it been a particularly stressful term so far. It hasn't. At least not for me. And at the end of the week we get a lecture on this 'Creative Detox'. A lecture? On how to stop and take a break? If a student ever needed one of those, then I'm a monkey's uncle.

So what am I going to do with my week? Hopefully, jazz up my book a bit. I'm going to Edinburgh next week and hoping to drop in on some agencies if they'll have me. Another option, get on with my Dissertation. Neither of these are really relaxing or getting away from work, but hey, when I'm working proper, I can book my holidays for whenI want them.

Stop working? Just try and make me!

Rubes

I Think I'm In Love...

2009-11-11T17:59:00.000Z

Finally, I think I have a creative partner.

Illeiana and I worked together quite a bit in 2nd year, then we both started swithering about whether we wanted to do advertising, Creative Roses nearly killed our friendship, and we went in other directions. Now we're working together again and it's like... why did we stop! Constant giggles, fun times, and also some pretty shit hot (if I say so myself) ideas coming about for this weeks brief, for Play.com. We're going to start a fricken revolution with this, seriously.

Only she still isn't sure if she wants to do advertising. But she will come to Scotland with me if she does! So, hopefully, I can help convince her that advertising really is the only thing she wants to do, then our creative life together is set! Book the Church! Or, on the other hand, I might come out in 8 months with a book I can't show anyone because I did all the work with someone else, who then went off to work for Diageo. (Scots aren't big fans of Diageo, you might have heard...)

*sigh* decisions, decisions...

"You go to University knowing all the answers, and leave with nothing but questions."
-Some Deep Guy, Right On Brother!

Rubes

Truly Addled

2009-11-05T08:53:00.000Z

I'm afraid I have hit a brick wall this week. Don't worry, it's not hurt.

What is so Fucking Great about Parking? Ugh. These fat people with thier little fat legs who can't possible walk to the shops, so we should advertise the fact that the fat little sheep can all park as close as physically possible to the shops (ensuring they can still get their fat arse out of the car) so they can go and buy more food and fatter clothes and a bigger sofa to keep thier big fat arses on. I WALKED to the fucking shops, the exact ones we have to advertise, in 10 minutes. Ok, I wasn't picking up a sofa, but any other conceivable reason you would have to drive to this place is people are just lazy. Lazy and Fat.

/endRant

Apologies for that, of course I don't mean any of it. Well, at least, I don't mean to offend anyone who might be reading and is fat, but I hate this brief goddammit! Parking is gods gift to shopping, of course. I shall begin all over again.

Ruby

Octobery-endyness.

2009-10-28T17:34:00.000Z

Very much looking forward to tomorrow, another workshop, this time focussed on....

COPYWRITING! Ta-daaaaa! Marvellous. Hopefully will have some v. interesting stuff in 24 hours time.

In other news, if you're feeling the S.A.D. already, search Youtube for 'infectious laughter' or watch the Skype laughter chain.

In the search for hilarious laughs to but used for this weeks brief (for comedy channel G.O.L.D), I have also found some very happy people, who in turn have made me very happy. Had a spring in my step all day! Go now and giggle till you wee a little.

Peace x

The nights are drawing in...

2009-10-13T23:21:00.000+01:00

As the dour old scots like to say!

Lincoln is getting cold and windy. I have a useless view from my window meaning that over the last week I've ran back in for a jacket 4 days out of 5. The 5th day I put one on before I left...

There is positives to this though. I walk briskly to Uni, so I get 20mins of exercise a day and get there early. I am always fully caffine-d up since I need a cup of tea as soon as I get in. Frequent cig breaks mean a stint in the cold air. My heart beats faster from a combination of all these things, meaning more blood to the brain, meaning a more active mind. Surely contributing to better ideas. Oh how we suffer for our art!

Only one genius idea has popped in my brain this term so far...
Ambient idea to encourage people not to go to Uni, after a 1-day intensive session with Dave Morris. Check him out:

Rubes... Chilly Rubes.

A small rant - that ate too much and didn't exercise...

2009-10-02T19:07:00.000+01:00

I am proud to say I have had REPLIES to my e-mails at last. Mr.'s Paul Belford and Nigel Roberts kindly took the two minutes out of their days to get back to me. Maybe because I said I liked their stuff. Probably because they're nice people who understand that 'student' means 'someone I can influence greatly, be it for better or worse' and chose to do 'better'.

I've been wondering about the lack of coverage of Scottish agencies, say in Campaign or Media Week, and now have come to the decision that they're not there, because they don't PUT themselves there. I want to work in Scotland when I graduate. I have no desire to ever live in London, Mancunians scare me, and Leeds smells of chip-shop batter and wee. So, to Scotland I go. And some of you might be thinking they're not in the ad-news because they only do ads for IRN BRU and Bell's, but I assure you you're mistaken.

Of course, a fair chunk of their media is only broadcast in the most dire outposts of civilisation, The More Northerly Than North, but does that mean they can't do ads? Or that their ads are not as newsworthy? Or is it just that the guys there are too busy to TELL PEOPLE that they're working on something? Or is it simply that folks down south thinks all brainpower ends at the M25 - or, to the more enlightened, at Hadrian's Wall?

...They're definitely too busy to reply to a damn e-mail, anyway. I tried several times, to several places, over the summer - grovelling, jovial, threatening - whatever. Got nothing, not even a 'No Thanks' back. Why? Why can I get an e-mail of 5 paragraphs back - the same day - from a big-shot super-award-winning 'writer like Roberts, but the guys up in Edinburgh (at 5 different places) can't possibly spare the time or effort to write me two words? Are they too big, too clever? Even if they've just had to sack 50 people and are about to go bust, a simple 'We can't do anything at the moment, write back after the recession' would ease my worries that I'm some kind of relation to a weasel and give me a target to work for. I'm going to say this lack of communication is what leads to Scottish agencies - no matter how innovative and interesting - being forever and always second-rate.

If you're reading this, and you work in Scotland, perhaps you could enlighten me. Or just reply next time I get in touch!

House of Cards

2009-09-29T13:56:00.000+01:00

http://www.shelterhouseofcards.org.uk/

This is a pretty amazing series, a collaboration of 53 artists and designers of all kinds, each one designing one card in a pack to sponsor Shelter. Buy a set, sponsor money, or just admire them by going to the address above! (also featured in Creative Review this month). My personal favourite is the Queen of Diamonds by Tom Hunter.

Enjoy! x

Cow & Gate

2009-09-27T10:15:00.000+01:00

My Phone... has OCR. How crazy is that!!!

In other news, This is my copy from a series of ads for Cow and Gate baby milk. I like the copy, i spent a lot of time on it - the rest of it is pretty meh. First Crit of the year tomorrow - eek! Hopefully in a few weeks I'll be back on form, anyway. Enjoy...

x Rubes

Back to Work

2009-09-20T14:00:00.000+01:00

We're Back in Lincoln!

Watch out 3rd year, it's time to kick some advertising ass...
Have actually picked up a pen. Got my Graphics tablet plugged in. Read some CR, Campaign, and Bloggy Goodness. Watched stuff that is not just an excuse, but actually useful research! Sent and got some Emails, that aren't from Facebook! Wow!

So now down to the nitty gritty. The tough stuff. The really hard, long-copy, longer nights, graft... The risky business of making Baby Milk about Breasts, and how Breasts are the Best... Sigh, I love my job. Even the hard stuff is easy...

x Rubes

Give it a Rest

2009-07-26T13:17:00.000+01:00

Well it seems like the summer is going not quite as creatively as it could be! Procrastination has been rife, but times they (should) be changing! Have been sent the Holiday project (Get people to see Cow & Gate first newborn formula milk in a new way) and am attempting to get a little done every day to keep my mind working. Finding it quite hard to be motivated as I'm working in a bar and trying to see as much of my boyfriend as possible, although I am getting some work done at his house too.

In other creative scenes, I have been watching a lot of movies (something I really haven't done a lot of before) including recently, Harry Potter 6 (great), Last House on the Left (quite violent), The Haunting in Connecticut (taught me to spell Connecticut, really scary and quite good), Don't Mess with the Zohan (funny in that really awful, cheesy way), and Stoic (very interesting and well scripted, if you haven't heard of it I suggest a google).

But I guess calling film-watching creative is just me trying to justify being abhorrently lazy... I will try harder!

Peace x

I <3 Life

2009-06-29T13:54:00.000+01:00

I <3 Life

If Life is Less-Than-Three, What are the Sum of All Parts?

I figured I should update, but don't have much to show you, apart from that random thought I had last night!

Also have been reading a book on Maths puzzles and magic - how to make a Mobieus Loop and stuff; work out someone's age with sums (and freak them out in the process). Can we have a round of applause for Mr. Fibonacci? And a spellchecker please...

Why do they insist on making school Maths so insufferably boring, when they could be teaching kids magic tricks instead of forcing the poor blighters to do quadratic equations! I would have loved this stuff! The most fun we ever got was some dreadful joke about an Indian, who sent his suitor-inas out to kill wild game, and chose his wife because the Squaw on the Hide of the Hippopotamus was equal to the Squaws on the other 2 hides... Actually it's better now I cut it down to one sentence.

Remember Kids... Simplify! xx Ruby

2009-06-18T11:38:00.000+01:00

Well, I always said I'd never make a blog, but here we are, the times they are a-changing.

Yesterday I was down in Leeds to talk to some great guys from Brahm's Sh! Awards http://www.brahm.com/sh/ after having been shortlisted for my Citizen's Advice Bureau work (above) from Uni. Had a good old chat and a chance to talk about myself, the course, and where to go from here. I found it really helpful, particularly as I've been swithering about whether this is really the life for me. But then I got home, buzzing with ideas and stuff to do and I really think that the energy and motivation that the work gives me is a great sign!

Also they loved some of my copy, said I have some really nice ideas in there (and a love of words which is important too) so it's finalised: I'm a copywriter! They said that having a natural flair for writing is a great thing to have, as we are rarer than art directors and getting even more so. So yay! I'm really pleased that I am finally one or the other, and even though I like AD, like I said to them, I care more about copy and get more annoyed when it's not quite right.

They suggested I take some of the taglines from work I had done this year, wherein the purpose of the brief was more about technique, drop the techniques completely and concentrate on making great ads to go with the great lines. So watch this [ ] space (yes that one right there) until I've had a chance to get to work on Umbro, Cadburys, expanding CAB to work cross-media... and a secret, great, hilarious idea I thought of for Weedol.

If you've just come across me and you'd like to take a look at my work from 2nd year Creative Advertising at Lincoln, visit rubyrosamund.deviantart.com

Looks like a busy summer coming after all!

Love and Sunshine, Ruby

Addled

Tangents

Ad Life Lesson No.1 - The importance of context.

The End

Scandals of the Near Future.

*heart*

Leonard doesn't do Advertising...

Noooo not the Butterflies!!

8 weeks to go!

Passive Aggressive

Well Red Bull definitely know their audience...

Dougie Mclean - Garden Valley

Drink Coke.

I'm not like those other girls...

The moral of the story...

Sign Language

Good things come to those who Comment.

Hiatus

How to lose fans and disappoint people...

3 months to go...

The Apocalypse!

Oops, I had an opinion.

The Future of Energy?

Things my flatmates could do to avoid dying in their sleep.

That Friday Feeling...

Most Epic Typo.

Man's Last Stand

The joy of boxed sets.

Dissertation Complete.

Words I Like

Gaping Void

Thank God we're not American

Blog Bandwagon

My Earliest Memory Is Of Flying

First Meetings

I like girls to know I might be diseased.

Love is a literal Battlefield.

Twitter

OMG.

Face-off

Championing the Grown-Up Day.

Reasons why today sucks and is stupid.

I Know Me

Published!

Assessment

Dandelion Clocks

Hogmanay

The meaning of Christmas 2009

Finally A Real Grown-Up

Rage Against the RATM Machine

Working over Christmas

The Gate

Up In the Morning Early...

Conflicting Life Directions

More poor internet journalism.

3 Glasses

You know you use facebook too much when...

Scandals of the decade!

All the Kings Horses...

I Capture the Castle

Maybe we can have some real ads now.

Mild Stroke of Genius

Home is where the Heart is...

10 things that are wrong with My Generation.

Something I will never understand...

Detox is for Quitters!

I Think I'm In Love...

Truly Addled

Octobery-endyness.

The nights are drawing in...

A small rant - that ate too much and didn't exercise...

House of Cards

Cow & Gate

Back to Work

Give it a Rest

I <3 Life

heart