2. Kissinggate. A top BNP consultant will get caught kissing a picture of Hitler. They will say they dropped grilled cheese and were trying to eat it off. No-one will believe them.
3. Garethgate. Gareth will say something stupid and everyone will be outraged, for at least 5 minutes.
4. Margate. Someone will notice that Mars Bars have been slowly shrinking over the last 10 years, even as their price increases. A riot will be held in front of Mars HQ and the CEO will throw himself from a window.
5. Colgate. A Spanish man will arrive outside an international airport. He will find that in his luggage is a cabbage he didn't know he had. The police will discover a bomb inside the cabbage and will order the entire crop of Spanish cols be culled.
6. Agrigate. Farmers will riot after they are told they must provide beehives on their farm. The mess will be solved by a small girl who teaches the farmers how 'bees are people too' and they should care for them, otherwise they're fucked out of a job because nothing will grow.
7. Gategate. Some prick in the government will decide it's time the Scottish right-of-way laws are revoked. All gates will be forced to wear a yellow star to depict that they are no longer open to the public. In protest, rather than remove the stars, people will steal the gates and burn them in the dead of night.
Rubes x
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